Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hanging out in Bozeman

It's been crazy around our house again this week. Neil was busy all week getting ready for his elk hunting trip, Kynlie and I were getting ready to come to Bozeman to spend  time with my sister, brother-in-law and nephews while Neil is hunting. Someone also started crawling on Tuesday! She's pretty slow and face plants quite often but she's got the actions down. Neil jokingly told me before he left to not put her down while we are here so she doesn't get it figured out when he's gone, little does he know, she's following his orders. If I even think about setting her on the floor to play, she screams, if anyone else tries to hold her, she throws a fit. Let me tell ya, it's been really fun trying to get things done or trying to help my sister with anything. At least her lungs are good!!! I did see on the way here that two more bottom teeth poked through so that may explain why she was SO crabby last week.
We got here on Friday and went to the Cat/Griz volleyball game, who would've known that college volleyball is actually fun to watch! Saturday we tailgated before the football game and then went to the game. A group of Ken and Gina's friends went together and got a tailgate spot so they do it before every game, it was a blast.
Today, we hung around the house in the morning, Ken's parents were here for the game also so they left in the morning, then we did some shopping. We were going to go to a hay maze but it was a little chilly for the little ones.
Kynlie started sleeping through the night again since we have been here so that is amazing! She has also been napping great, which is a relief. She has been hit or miss taking her Pediasure bottle at night, but I just haven't been in the mood to fight with her to force her to take it. Her eating has also been hit or miss. Saturday she only ate supper, she did eat a lot of supper but that's not enough for her. Today, she ate great all three meals. Before her appointment, it wouldn't have bothered me if she didn't eat good, but now knowing that she really needs those calories, it's kind of stressing me out. I just need to relax because I know she'll eat when she's hungry. 
I got ahold of Dr. Ocejo on Friday also to see if she was anemic or not and his nurse said her iron level was normal, but that when we go back in November for her follow up immunizations that he may want to do more bloodwork on her.
Here are some funny pics of her from last week

Cuddling with her new book she got for her birthday, cause books are cuddly!
Chocolate Pediasure mustache! She loves the chocolate flavor but it's so messy.

  I stood her beside the suitcase and she decided she wanted to nap there, looks cozy!

"Bear Butt!!"

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

1 year pictures

We had Kynlie's one year pictures done last Wednesday by Bohle Images. They turned out great considering Kynlie wouldn't take a nap that day and even Sterling wasn't making her giggle. When we were doing the birthday cake pictures, Kynlie was doing great, but the cake had the little decorative discs on it and she was loving it so much trhat she kept eating but wasn't chewing the discs up. I guess she got too many of them in her mouth and they gagged her and made her puke, all over the cake! That was the end of our photo shoot!!! Check out the pictures at this web site,
http://pictage.com/935974

Key is : Moore

12 months

We were in Bismarck Sunday and yesterday for Kynlie's 12 month checkup with Dr. Ocejo and appointments with Physical, occupational and speech therapy.
Sunday, we went to the pumpkin patch, which was really neat, but would've been way more fun if Kynlie was a year older. We did get some cute pictures though. We took my camera to Best Buy for them to send it in and see if it is fixable, we ran around the mall and ate at my favorite restaurant, Texas Roadhouse.
On Monday before therapy, we ran up to the NICU to see her nurses, I love taking her up there because they are always so excited to see her. I also like to see the nurses because I spent a lot of time with them!
Her therapy appointments went great, they all said that she is right on track with her adjusted age of 8 months but is doing some things that are more typical of 9 month olds. They gave us a few things that we can work with her on- pulling herself up on furniture, cruising furniture and mimicking our noises and actions. They said it's not that she should be doing them already, they are just things to get her on the fast track. She still isn't crawling yet but she is SO close, she's got the hand an feet movement down, just has to figure out that they can go together. They said that part of the reason she hasn't figured it out yet is because she doesn't stop moving. They want to see her again in 6 months.
After therapy she had her appointment with Dr. Ocejo. She was 27" long, which is the 49% and she only weighed 14 lb 12 oz. which is in the 3%. Dr. Ocejo said he was concerned about her weight, one, because winter is coming and she has no weight to lose if she would get sick, and two because her height and weight percentiles are so far off. He said if they were 25% off, he wouldn't be as concerned. He said that we need to start putting 1/2 tsp real butter in her vegetable and meat meals. He said that will add calories without trying to force feed her more food. He also wants us to give her Pediasure before bed. He said start out slow, then gradually get her up to where she will take 4-7 oz. He said that it is very rich and high in calories so if we give it to her at night, she should sleep better and not burn off those calories. Dr. Ocejo said that he could see, just by watching her during her appointment what a lot of the problem with her gaining weight is. She absolutely does not stop moving, ever. Even when she's sleeping, she is squirming and sometimes even moving her feet like she is jumping!
He said he still didn't want to do anything with her birthmark. He said he doesn't think it bothers her, it's getting less puffy and if it does go away on its own, it won't leave  mark. He said if we do surgery, she will have a scar and it's such a complicated surgery he would much rather wait until she is bigger.
He also said he thought she may be anemic so we had to draw blood to check her iron level. If she is anemic, we just have to put her on an iron supplement. I got to thinking about it and when I was pregnant, my iron was low and I took iron supplements, I have been slacking on taking them lately though, so I am going to make it a point to take my iron every day and see if it'll help her out a bit.
She got 3 vaccines and her flu shot, then had to get blood drawn so she had a bandaid on both legs, one arm, and a wrap on her other arm. She looked pretty rough when she was in her diaper with all her owies! Neil and I also got our flu shots while we were in there too.
We have to go back in 4 weeks to get her booster flu shot and her other vaccines, then he wants to see her again in 3 months to see if she is gaining weight any better.



Can you see her up there?


Family picture at the pumpkin patch. 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Catching up

I typed this post last night, but then blogger wouldn't let me upload my pictures so I tried it agian this morning and it still won't let me so you get one blurry picture at the bottom ( I miss my camera:( )
I was looking on here and just noticed it's been almost a week since my last post. I guess I am just trying to get caught up from last week. I got a bad sinus infection on Wednesday and  finally went to the doctor on Friday. That thing has kicked my butt. The doctor did tell me that if I get another one anytime in the near future that he will send me to an ENT to get checked out, this is my 4th one this year.
Kynlie hasn't been sleeping very good, during the day or at night. She's in bed now, but the three nights before it's been after 10 when we finally got her to sleep. Then she'll wake up at midnight, 3 and 6.  I think she has some teeth bothering her. It doesn't seem like I have been able to get her back to sleeping through the night since we went down to Casper, WY the first of the month for a wedding.
I saw on another blog that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I didn't know there is an actual day for that, I remember my losses every day. It seems like I have been in a funk lately and I think it is just remembering where I was last year around this time and wishing things would've turned out a little different than they did.
We go to Bismarck on Sunday, Kynlie has her one year appointment with Dr. Ocejo on Monday and appointments with Occupational, Physical and Speech therapies. I'm hoping he will give her the flu shot when she is in because it sounds like there's a lot of it going around here. I don't now if he will because he doesn't like to give them more vaccines than they need at one time. Neil and I both need to get ours yet too, it's kind of stupid of us to have waited. I have started keeping her out of groups of people and we are going to start sticking around the house a lot more now to try and stay healthy this winter.
I am also a little anxious to hear what he will say about her birthmark on her hip, he has said all along that he thinks it'll go away, but it's not getting any smaller. I guess it's kind of a complicated surgery to remove it because it is a bunch of blood vessels so she could lose a lot of blood. I'd like to have it removed before it becomes something she will be self concious about and I think when she starts crawling it'll rub on her diaper and clothes.
We are going to go to the pumpkin patch when we are there also so I'm excited about that. I don't think Kynlie will care a whole lot about it yet but she'll like watching the other kids there.  She loves our nieces and her face just lights up watching them, even if they are just walking by. My nephews are also here this weekend and it was fun watching her and Lincoln, who is 6 months play together. She also loves Sterling, all he has to do is walk by and her face lights up at him. I took him when we did her 1 year  pictures because I thought he'd make her smile but even he didn't work when she missed her nap!

 I had more pictures to upload but blogger won't let me upload more than one so here is a picture of her eating her shoes from her aunt Connie.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Happy Birthday Kynlie

Kynlie Faith,
I can't believe I am writing your first birthday post today. You have defied all the odds and proved to everyone that miracles DO happen.
You have been through more in your short life than more will go through in a lifetime, chest tube, pneumonia, picc lines, iv's, vent tubes, feeding tubes, experimental injections in your eyes, laser eye surgery, needle pokes and daily doctor visits. You spent 115 days in the NICU and got to join us at home two days before your due date.
Every day, you amaze me more and more with the things you are learning. Even when you are crying, I am so glad that you can because that means your lungs are healthy. Your eyes are great, your lungs are great, everything about you is amazing.
You are SO close to crawling, you rock back and forth on your hands and knees, turn around, you just haven't figured out that you can be mobile, but when you do, watch out! You roll and scoot to get wherever you need. You are very good with your hands, everything you get them on goes directly to your mouth.
You blab all day long, I wake up in the morning to da da da.  I know you don't really know what you are saying yet, you know I am mama! You also like to squeal- a lot! You have started putting your arms out to me when you want me to pick you up and it just melts my heart.
You have the most adorable toothy smile (4 on top and 2 on bottom) and you still love to scrunch your nose up when you are smiling.
You love your fuzzy sheets I found for you so now you snuggle with them and your soft blankies. You usually sleep all night, but sometimes you like to see me at 3am!
You love bath time and love to hoard all your bath toys. You get them all in your arms and just hold them, usually with one in your mouth.
You loved your first birthday cupcake, but I think you will eat anything, including the pumpkin guts you tried eating earlier tonight! You are really good at feeding yourself and you love your snacks. You also do pretty good with your trainer spoon feeding yourself.
You still don't have very much hair, but you have one really long one on the top of your head. What you do have is blonde and straight. You still wear a lot of 3-6 month clothes but need mostly 6-9 month for lenght. You did wear some 0-3 month pants to the fall festival and everyone kep trying to pull them down because they were too short.  You are still in size 1 diapers, and still don't have many shoes that fit because your feet are so long and skinny.
You love kids and dogs and can't concentrate on anything if they are around.
You have stole mine and your daddy's heart, and I think probably quite a few others too!
Happy First Birthday Kynlie Faith!!! Mommy and Daddy love you SOOOO much.

Mommy made you a farm birthday cake
 
Waiting for your cupcake, holding on to your balloon

Mmmm, that cupcake was great!! Didn't feel good in the eyes though!
Who cares about what the present is, the ribbon is all I need
What is this stuff?
Goin all in!
Great job carving daddy, it taste's great!
Kynlie and her first Jack-o-lantern on her first birthday.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Our firstborn

 Kirsten Hope,
Today would've been your first birthday, and not a day has gone by that I don't think about you, miss you, love you and wonder what you would be like. It's amazing how much I  love and miss someone I never really got to meet.
I can't help but wonder ever day what you would be like. Would you be spunky and squirmy like your sister or would you be laid back and calm. Would you have the dark curly hair you were born with, or would I have two baldies? Would you be chubby or skinny like Kynlie is. How many teeth would you have now? Would you be crawling yet, would you be a picky eater or would you love everything. Every time Kynlie does something new, I can't help but wonder, would you be doing it already or would you be watching her, taking notes and following in her footsteps. Would you look like me or would you look like your daddy, like Kynlie does?
You would've been the best big sister, even though you were a tiny bit smaller than Kynlie when you were born. I know your time with us was way too short, but I  know you are in a much better place now and there is plenty of family up there spoiling you rotten. I can still feel your little feet kicking me in the belly, some days it felt like there were 10 babies squirming around inside there.
One thing that makes me feel better is knowing that you were never in pain and you never suffered. You went to be in God's arms right away and I will see you there some day. You fought to stay alive inside me long enough to keep your sister alive and I know that you were watching over her when she was so tiny and I thank you for that.
Every day, I wish you were here with us, I will always love you and always miss you.
Mommy

Today, a year ago

Thursday, October 8, 2009 started out just like every other day for the last 10 days had. The doctor came in  said to keep doing what I was doing and that I would be having an ultrasound again that morning. My dad had came the night before and stayed with me and he would be heading home and my mom was on her way to stay for a night. I was feeling pretty bad because I was missing Neil's 30th birthday. His mom and dad threw a party for him but I didn't like the fact that I couldn't be there with him.
The radiologist came in and did my ultrasound and estimated the babies at 1 lb 8 oz each. Kirsten (baby a) was hard to get good measurements on because of the fact that she had low amniotic fluid so she was very far down in my birth canal. One of the nurses had came in a few days before and was checking the heartbeats and checked Kirsten's and said that the boy is doing good, checked Kynlie's and said the girl was doing good. We hadn't wanted to know what we were having so Neil and I just looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. I asked the radiologist that did my ultrasound that day if she could confirm that but Kirsten was too far down to see anything. I was 24 weeks pregnant.
I had got moved from a labor and delivery room into a smaller surgical recovery room that morning because the floor was so busy that they had run out of rooms. My doctor told me that they had already delivered 2 babies in the recovery rooms that day. I didn't have room for all the stuff I had acquired in the smaller room but the bed was a lot more comfortable.
My mom and I were watching our Thursday night shows, Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice and my friend had called so I talked to her on the phone through both of the shows because I knew I would have plenty of time later on to watch them online. My nurse came in to give me my night meds, antibiotics and sleeping pills. I took them, got up to go to the bathroom and my heart sank when I looked in the toilet bowl and the water was pink. (TMI- sorry, this is how the story goes)
I called the nurse in, she looked and said it was probably just my amniotic fluid turning color, which I guess it'll do. She told me to just relax and go back to bed.  Well for those of you who have ever been pregnant, you know how often you have to go to the bathroom so by time I had got myself calmed down, I had to pee again. This time, I knew things weren't right. The water was bright red. I called the nurse in again and when I saw the look on her face, I knew it was bad. She called the doctor and he ordered an ultrasound.
Remember that I had already taken a sleeping pill so I was getting pretty loopy!  I don't remember all of this, but I had quite a few lengthy chats with the nurses that were on that night sometimes when I would go up to visit Kynlie.
When they did the ultrasound, Kirsten did not have a heart tone. The nurses debated amongst themselves what to do, the sooner they got Kirsten out, the better. They decided that they were going to have me push Kirsten out before my doctor even got there because they didn't know how long she'd been gone, maybe they could revive her. There were two nurses, holding me open because I wasn't in labor, I wasn't dilated or effaced. I pushed Kirsten out and I remember seeing a bald head at the end of my bed, who was Carl, Kynlie's NICU nurse and he ran Kirsten down to the NICU.
The nurses said they tried to revive her for 20 minutes but she was gone. She had gotten the infection that caused her water to break and even if they had been able to revive her, she would've never been able to beat the infection. Kirsten Hope Moore was born at 10:53 pm CST weighing 1 lb 4.3 oz, measuring 12 1/4" long.
My doctor and the neonatologist came into my room and told me that Kirsten didn't make it and that we had two choices. Option one was to leave baby b (Kynlie) in and hope that I didn't go into labor from my body just delivering a baby because Kynlie wouldn't survive contractions. Option two was to do an emergency c-section and have Kynlie that night. They told me I had a half hour to decide.
I asked them what they would suggest and they said that they couldn't tell us that because it was pretty much a crap shoot either way. I was 24 weeks pregnant, to the day, the earliest she would be viable outside the womb. I could also keep her inside me until I was term without any problems, but of course, they couldn't foresee the future.
My mom had already called Neil and told him a little about what was going on, but she hadn't told him about Kirsten. He had called his parents and his dad and sister said they would come to Bismarck with him. They were somewhere between Baker and Wibaux when I tried to call Neil to tell him what was going on and see what he thought we should do. I had to try calling quite a few times because there is very patchy cell service between Baker and Wibaux, but Neil finally got on a hill and I got through to him. I told him that Kirsten didn't make it and what our options were with Kynlie. I was pretty out of it from the sleeping pill and his reception wasn't great and he wasn't understanding a lot of what I was saying but we decided to do the c-section and have Kynlie that night.
The nurses began prepping me for surgery. I had to be put out because they had left Kirsten's placenta inside me to act as a plug in case Kynlie wanted to come out so I couldn't set up for the epidural. Everything from there is a blur. I don't remember being wheeled to the OR or anything. I do remember them telling me that I needed to be prepared for Kynlie to not be alive when I came out of surgery and the last thing I remember was Dr. Danielson asking me if I was sure this was what I wanted to do.
I woke up, freezing, in recovery, which was weird because I had been SO hot before. I remember asking the recovery nurse for more hot blankets, I couldn't quit shaking. I remember Dr. Ocejo, the neonatologist coming in and telling me that I had absolutely made the right decision, that Kynlie was doing wonderfully in the NICU. Kynlie Faith was born on Friday, October 9, 2010 at 12:22 am, cst weighing 1 lb 4.5 oz, measuring 12 3/4" long. She missed being born on her daddy's birthday by 22 minutes and that's because we were in North Dakota!
I got wheeled back up to my room on the labor and delivery floor and as I was getting wheeled in, I saw Neil and his dad and sister walking through the doors. They had just got there. I was so thankful for his dad and sister riding along with him so he wasn't driving by himself at 10:00 at night.
The nurses came in and took Neil down to see Kynlie. I couldn't go that night because of the surgery, but they wheeled me down the next morning. He brought back pictures of her and her tiny hand holding his finger that night.


My doctor came in the next morning and told us what had gone on in the OR. We were both kind of out of it. I was on some good pain meds and Neil had been up all night. He said that when he went to do the c-section that he had to cut my uterus vertically. He said when he got in there that Kynlie was too far up to get her out with a horizontal incision. My incision on the outside is horizontal but on the uterus is vertical. He said that it killed  him cutting me that way because I will always have to have a c-section now, I can't ever even have a contraction because my uterus could rupture.  He said that it definitely wasn't the way he wanted things to end up. He said that I had lost a lot of blood, which explained why I was always freezing.
Dr. Ocejo came in and talked to us and once again, answered more questions than we could've ever thought to answer. He said that the first seven days were the most important we needed to get through those first days with no major comlications. That man, we would find in the future, is amazing. He will always hold a very special place in our hearts. He said Kynlie was doing amazingly well, she was on the ventilator and had an umbilical line which was her iv and was also used to draw blood. She was hooked up to a blood pressure cuff, temperature monitor, and had her heart rate leads. It was very overwhelming at first but it all became second nature very quickly. Her eyes were still fused shut, kind of how a kitten is born with theirs fused shut. She had on goggles to keep light off her eyes though because light is stimulation and stimulation is very stressful for preemies. She also had a bubble wrap blanket, which is used because it traps the heat underneath the plastic, but they can see her because it's clear. Kynlie's nurses were amazing, they answered any questions we had, which were a lot those first few days, many of the same questions over and over. They were great about explaining everything to us, all the machines, what they were doing and why.
From there on out, our life will never be the same, for those of you who followed our caring bridge site, you know, for those of you that didn't, if you have some spare time, like a few days maybe, you can read it at www.caringbridge.org/visit/moorebabies.
The love and support we recieved from our friends, family and our community  was amazing. We are so blessed to live in such a wonderful place. Our prayers were answered. Kynlie Faith will have her first birthday tomorrow, a day we didn't know if we would ever be able to celebrate with her. She is PERFECT.

Happy Birthday to you!!

I just want to wish my wonderful husband a very happy 31st birthday. Last year his birthday kinda really sucked, one because I wasn't with him, and two because the babies decided they were ready to come out that night so he ended up driving to Bismarck at 10:00 at night- but that's a whole nother blog post.
We aren't doing anything exciting for Neil's birthday, just hanging out, the three of us, four if you count Sterling. I may or may not cook him a nice meal, he'll get his cake on Saturday and he already bought himself his birthday present!
Happy 31st Birthday Neil!! Kynlie and I love you SOOOOOOO much. Thanks for being such a fun, carefree and silly daddy, and such a patient, understanding and thoughtful husband.
Kynlie and Ashlee

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

We've created a monster!!!!

 Does anyone see anything in common with these two pictures? Anything at all?

This top picture was taken the end of July when Kynlie went over to meet some kids that had said a lot of prayers for her. She wasn't too happy about being there, but as long as she was in mom's arms she was fine.



Photo by Kristin Merwin
kristinmerwin.blogspot.com
   This picture was taken the middle of August when we ran up to see her nurses in the NICU. Dr Ocejo saw us come up and he came and got Kynlie when I was talking to the labor and delivery nurses and took her into the NICU. This is what she was doing when I got into the NICU.

Thanks Bonnie for finding this for us!!
 This girl is DRAMATIC. The instant something happens that she doesn't think she likes, that lip comes out. I can't help but laugh at it because she does it ALL THE TIME! I thank her nurses for waiting on her hand and foot for four months, tending to her every request for this little drama queen. But, we love you guys, you are the best nurses in the world, and of course there's "The Man", Dr Ocejo, that is the reason Kynlie is with us today. All of you will always hold a special place in our hearts.